As as life went on, things changed. We moved to a house and the work to maintain it increased ten-fold compared to a condo. I became increasingly more passionate about organic, local food and enrolled us in a farm-share where we paid up front and got fresh vegetables all season long- the deal being that I would have to do more of the cooking if I wanted to enroll us. Bit by bit, Dan began doing more of the outdoor work, and I began doing more of the kitchen work. Because I have a higher salary than Dan, and as such have to work many more hours, we finally both agreed to get a housekeeper after Devon was born.
So here we are, each of us doing the work of our specified gender roles, and I'm not always sure what to make of it. I enjoy cooking and preparing food, perhaps more than raking the lawn and takin the trash out, and I certainly love watching our son. I like to weed in my garden and tend to my bees. Yet sometimes I feel frustrated. Since Dan and I now often do different work, I often find myself questioning whether he's doing his fair share. I often feel overworked, even though I do love to work. This usually occurs when I see Dan regularly taking time for himself- a thing I rarely seem to do. And perhaps some of it is jealousy.
What I do still love and what I do cherish is that Dan and I communicate well and (mostly) fairly. When I do start to begrudge him his gaming time (of which it always seems there's so much!!) I know that I can at least talk to him and we can evaluate the situation together